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Wonderings of the Wanderer

Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

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  2010.10.20  12.15

once upon a time I knew you, saw you everyday
we walked along together, made our own way
now hello drifts, across electric space
now hello is empty, hollow in it's place
hello should be friendly
goodbye should be sad
but now hello makes me twitch
and goodbye makes me glad

so go your way without me, my once upon a time
and write me not again without rhythm or rhyme

Mood: weirded-out

  2010.09.30  13.14

what does one do with people from thy past?
they wander in and out of your mind
completely locked where they were that last time
you see them on line
and stare
as if a ghost had signed on
you waver as you wish to say hi
to be as it was that last time
to hold what you had before
to let it be, what now is lore
to grasp a piece of time turned away
trying what could have been today
and then you turn back
close the window, let go of what you lack
putting down what never was
trying to remember because

could not happiness have been found the first time and spared the site of paths not taken?

Mood: disappointed

  2010.01.18  15.30

the night winds carry every thing
the night winds care not for a ring
into your thoughts they slip and sing
into your thoughts regret they bring
they pick you up as a grain of sand
and hurl you into your past land
no tools no base on which to stand
you see where you were wrong
but can not change the song
and friends you wish, have already gone

Mood: melancholy

  2008.01.11  12.17
time again

it's time again to read the lines to speak the words to chant the rhymes
it's time once more to travel on yet it feels as though all is already gone
I cannae say how long this will last, I cannae say I wish it past
I only know that is it going and I must be reaping or sowing so I must go on growing
Even when I feel the cage,
even when I'm cornered by rage,
I have to find a way to get to a new page

Mood: stuck

  2007.11.13  17.05
this place

i walk amidst the burning leaves that fall unto the ground
i walk amidst the green fields making less than sound
i stare into the blue sky that unto gray may turn
i stare into the cold rain and something calls return

this place to me didst once seem home
but now i wander i walk i not quite roam
through near hostile rooms and past uncaring looks
it seems perhaps what i remembered as here was just a book

for my place i held so dear it is not here it is not here
my time in this place is done but marked very early by the land of the sun
and now i trod uselessly overland that is beyond me

Mood: out of place

  2007.06.16  02.36

two am and all should be well
two am and out of doors I still dwell
two am and a new song
two am shall i sing along?

Mood: confused

  2007.06.11  23.51

midnight walks the gates of time
midnight stalks this mind of mine
the stars over head shed their glow
the grass under foot slowly starts to grow
and my mind races through it all
remembering every movement each foot fall
I can nae banish from my mind
all the songs I have sung that bind
all the promises ever made and wrought
how someone could ever think started things must come to naught
I can nae seem to wrap my thoughts about
this view the ex one spits out
so all my hurt and all my pain
serves as passage through fire rain
and time will come and go again
and he can nae make himself my sane

Mood: ponderous

  2007.05.07  05.14

in a state of transition
I meditate on the notes dropping like pins from my headphones
in a state of meditation
I merge with my music and swim upstream searching
in a state of merging
I grasp at the staves of music
in my grasping
I feel even the air slip from between my fingers
in my feeling
I wonder what I am searching for
in my wonder
I see no light nor answer
in my sight
I want only a friend and a story

Mood: tired

  2007.05.02  03.17

I grow weary of these glittering high rises. The towers which block the sounds of the sea. I wade through the smog like soup and wonder at how any one can stand to live so high up that the city often becomes non existent. Perhaps though that is the reason, that high up no where else in the world exists. I grow bored with the items in the over crowded market to which I can't walk. I wish for the trees beyond and for rocky cliffs. I've had enough of glitter and fake lights. Give me the eight elements in their reality. Let me feel the dirt between my toes and let the forest settle into my lungs. Someone once told me I am a city girl, I wonder at that now. For this place of people of high rise of shopping seems barren and grating like the sands of the desert. Blow as they may, mirages they may create, but always only as it is. It is a place for people and I am not quite human to appreciate it for so long.

Mood: stir crazy

  2007.04.28  07.10

Omae wa dochira anime no VILLAIN desu ka?


  2007.04.23  15.05

orsinian tales

so many words from the fabric of time/ to stitch together in one sad rhyme/ so many things I want to say/ many things I no longer may/ I wish I could step where I belong/ could write the words to the song/ I dare not speak I dare not say/ what wishes not in my heart to stay/ I know not what you have done/ it seems without trying my love you've won/ yet I will not let myself fickle be/ I will be strong and keep to me/ I will hold my promise until no truth I see/ then mayhaps but likely nay/ I may turn through time and with you stay

Mood: sad

  2007.03.18  07.18

How is it that so many people have determined that to be human is to love?
Why is it this characteristic that makes us human? It could instead be the calculation, the motives, the consciousness that divides us from the animal kingdom. Yet it is love, the ever illusive, widely sought after, painful, and undefinable. So many people want it, so many people do stupid things for it, so many people don't see they have it and thus throw it away. It is the last that hurts the most. Seeing people break and throw away the things they have because it is not what they expected. How many times do people throw something, anything away because they expect something different. It is my sincerest wish that we could learn to see what we have rather than what we think we lack.

"Defy fate, and have love lead your life...even when you're burdened with sin." - Aya from Yu Watase's Ceres

Mood: grateful

  2007.03.11  12.39

You Belong in Dublin

Friendly and down to earth, you want to enjoy Europe without snobbery or pretensions.
You're the perfect person to go wild on a pub crawl... or enjoy a quiet bike ride through the old part of town.

Mood: confused

  2007.03.11  11.58
random quiz

You Are Suede Boots

Your boots were meant to be just that, boots. You're all about cute and functional.


  2007.01.27  04.20

half a world away and tucked safe inside a different day/ still the clouds hang above still the labyrinth of love/ a day here and a day there the labyrinth doth spare/ night when the clouds are high tis when the labyrinth doth break the sky/ like a beast in the day when the hunters are away I frolic I play/ like the animal being chased my running is almost a waste/ I myself must turn and face the hunters in this place/ I must don the day and push paste these winding ways/ I must avoid the offered hand and pull myself up to the new land/ then again may I be free to the companions who seek me

Mood: worried

  2006.09.23  14.55

lost in a sea of dreamings
a hundred stars in the sky lighting the dry
crumbled tower where at night I fly
old and ancient simple and true
I open my wings and I hope for you

lost in a whirlpool of thoughts
a hundred lights on the river lighting the wet
mossy rocks where at night I swim
broken and new silent and dim
I stretch my toes and wish on a whim

lost in a cave of reality
a hundred surfaces reflecting the light
of a candle from my tower keep
stuffed in a bottle from the river deep
I know myself and into the unknown I must leap

Mood: contemplative

  2006.07.26  20.42

If You Ruled the Land . . . by wackyweasel
Your first name:
How you gained your rule:
Your title is:Your Great Grand High Majesty
Your symbol is:the tiger, for that cool stripey don't-mess-with-me-ness
You rule from:a mountaintop mansion
At your side is:your huge red dragon, Ringo
Your enforcers, troops, and guards are all:elves - with WINGS!!
Your most popular law is:No-pants Fridays
Your least popular law is:Banning of the quote marks hand gesture
Your worst enemy is:a poorly-chewed pretzel
Your popularity rating is:: 72%
Your chance of being overthrown is:: 34%
Quiz created with MemeGen!


  2006.07.26  20.30

Your Spirituality Type: PATH OF DEVOTION (Augustinian prayer)
The majority of saints are of this spiritual temperament as well
as 12 percent of the population (but half of those who go on retreats
or belong to small faith groups).

This method uses creative imagination to transpose; the world of
scripture to our situation today--as if the scripture passage is
a personal letter from God a addressed to each one; of us
(like Saint Augustine picking up Romans 13 and reading; a message
pointed directly at him). The essential element of this spirituality,
going back to New Testament times (Jesus, Saint Paul, the early
church fathers), is experiencing a personal relationship with God.
Because they read between the lines and catchy what is inexpressible
and spiritual, those who follow the path of devotion best understand
symbols and their use in the liturgy.

This path concentrates on meditations that loosen the feelings and
expand the ability to relate to and love others. The stress is on
the love ot self others, and God. Those on this path can follow the
four steps of the Lectio Divina: listen to what God says in scripture;
reflect prayerfully and apply it to today; respond to God's word
with personal feelings; remain quiet and stay open to new insights.

By Roger O'Brien. Reproduced online with permission from the author.
Found in VISION: http://www.vocationguide.org
© National Religious Vocation Conference

http://www.visionguide.info/content/view/28/60/ if you'd like to try it

Mood: icky

  2006.06.28  19.13

The words I wish to speak a loud so that you may hear
are some which you have already had whispered in your ear
they are not soft and gentle but plying and profound
the words they are wanting out of the background

they scream in my head and whisper in my heart
while one side says together the other says apart

But you cannae hear these words I dare not utter a sound
for these words are those which only bring you down
they make you wonder if youre fixing things at all
then you tell me youve run against a brick wall

you scream in my head and whisper in my heart
while one side says together the other says apart

So I sit here and try to make the words into phrases
which will tell me how to get out of the mazes
the ones which lead me left and you right
they are dark walls that disappear at night

they mess with my head and leave my heart alone
while one side says together the other stays unknown

Please I wish I could speak to you this way
I think it really would get us past that day
the day things fell apart and I ceased to understand
then it was that you dropped my heart back in my hand

you try to take it back from me and give me yours in return
while one side is patched broken the other makes me burn

Mood: icky

  2006.06.17  18.17

seasons come and season pass
but the human heart does not last
all the running and the chores
all the doing and being bored

friends seem to come and slowly go
but the human mind often leaves them so
all the forgetting and the being gone
all the holes in the human song

what is not in front of our face
is left out of our place
all the people who can not stay
all the people who will go away

years come in and years go out
but the human voice is no longer a shout
all the words that were ever said
all the thoughts that were ever read

love seems to come and stick around
but the human soul does not hear the sound
all the moments lost in time
all the problems immune to rhyme

Mood: sad

  2006.02.24  14.13
blue and white horizons

again it falls upon the ground the cold snowy white
to cover the green and all the things people really mean
snow coats everything here better than the darkest night
to coat the imperfections and all of love's connections

above the sun is shining to make a bright blue sky
while on the ground I walk around and yet make no sound

just a list:
something funny in the air
something wrong with my hair
something odd in all the ways
something missing from the plays
something buried, hidden, missed
what is making me question like this

Mood: restless

  2006.02.01  14.36

What is an elf and what is a human? Are things always so hard between them? There are so many questions to stuff into such a short time period. Days go by coated in ice and snow looking beautiful but being confusing. There are so many songs to be heard without the noise of the leaves overhead. So many directions to look that not even an eagle could see all. The lone winged wolf is landing but where is it's mate? Lost to the skies he so recently returned from? In all the world people mirror those they love without thinking. What is an elf and what is a human, does it matter at all?

Mood: contemplative

  2006.01.26  00.11

the snow it slides like the sand of the desert during a storm
it is beauty and it is death all in the same breath
the stars do not shine to guide the weary home
and all the travelers though near are traveling alone
in thick black coats with dark reds bands
the injured make their way across the sands
As the snow creates another layer
the injured fall to the white slayer

Mood: crushed

  2006.01.07  00.03

All the world is a stage and all the people simply players
or something to that effect as Shakespeare writes
If we all are acting and there is a grand design
then why do we listen to so many directors
If all the world is for our play's unfolding
then why does each space seem like a different story

All the stories are but one and all the actors mirrors
or perhaps you would like to disagree but please take your turn after me
If all the stories are printed side by side
then why do the smallest ones to disguise their page
If all the actors are really images in the mirrors
then why do some stand up and others not at all

all or none and all for one
and never shall the writing be done

Mood: discontent

  2005.12.10  15.40

Generate your Anime Character! by ryiu
hair...long and flowing
clothing...military uniform
special trait...elf ears
special ability...you can fly
sidekick...a small wolf
purpose...you're just living life
you are good by: 54%
Quiz created with MemeGen!


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